Friday, March 27, 2009

A Bunch of Babble

Feeling bummed today.

For the past few weeks, church has been comparing the decades to the bible. People have really directed themselves away from love. There is so much violence in the world, it makes me sad.

Most people these days are about what they want. Then there are those who are just trying to get what they need. Love. Respect. Fun. Peace. Family. Happiness.

After church last Saturday, I actually walked out with tears in my eyes. It could have been lingering PMS, but whatever it was, it struck a cord in me.

Ass is drinking again. Working, but drinking. He gives me money. What he THINKS he should give me. Last week he gave me money and then blew the rest of his paycheck at the horse race track. His whole f'n paycheck! THEN asked to borrow $20 from me. Talk about irresponsible. I've got a big surprise for him, today I am giving him a bill. It is what is due...half of the what the bills are. If he doesn't like it, he can get the F out! It's pretty sad I have to work a second job because I can't depend on him. As I should. I shouldn't depend on anyone, but myself.

I'm so tired of being a good person. I let people take advantage of me way too often. Where is the line between a good person and a doormat?

I honestly don't know.

3 comments:

Coyote Bebop said...

I think it's not YOU that has the problem, but the media & society.

During the depression, you didn't help a mother, and young teen kid, or a man, by handing them shit.

You helped them by letting them work for their earnings.

My dad drove a delivery truck to help his family get food on the table...when he was 12 years old.

Too many people feel entitled to your kindness. They think, "You owe me".

Sam, you don't owe anybody a motherfucking thing;
not your mom, not your sister, not this n00b crybaby puss that lives in your home, not the homeless man on the corner.

They want stuff, tell them to fucking EARN it, or hit the fucking streets.

It's not heartless, it's just the opposite.

"give a man a fish, and you feed him for one meal. TEACH a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime"

It's such a shame that much of the modern population wont just grow the fuck up.

"But Coyote, you don't understand their feelings and their delema".

I've been homeless.

I got the fuck out of it.

Sympathy is one thing, but it has nothing to do with 'hand-outs'.

Jesus never 'handed-out' a thing. He wouldn't even let his disciples carry "beggar bowls".

You've earned everything that you have, baby, including your friends. If other people don't want to work for it, fuck 'em.

.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Yote..He be a wise old fart...
I love you Sam! No matter how mean and judgemental I seem!
Love Love LOVE YOU!!!

alan said...

'Yote pretty much said it all up above...

Know that being a good person doesn't mean letting yourself be used or abused by anyone! Ever!

Life is far too short for that!

alan