Friday, April 24, 2009

It's been a long week. I've worked six days this week...with a terrible cold! Luckily I'm feeling much better today. I've had this crap since Monday.

I've been letting my dad sleep on my couch. He goes to work, goes to friends, and then comes to my house to sleep and shower. I can't see him on the streets. It's temporary until he figures out what the hell he's going to do. Someone else is taking care of his dog.

I just found out my co-worker/good friend has skin cancer. Another thing to add to my list of worries.

Anyways, besides being completely worn out and in need of fun, I'm doing fine.

That's a good thing, right?

Friday, April 17, 2009

I Have My Reasons

I told my father he couldn't stay...

1. I DO NOT want to deal with this.
2. I'm risking losing my apartment.
3. His dog is pissing in my house! Last time, his dog ruined my NEW furniture that I barely used. I had to throw it out. Not to mention I had to take the dog to work with me yesterday. I know, it isn't the dog's fault! =(
4. There isn't enough room.
5. I CAN NOT live with him again.

The ASS that still lives with me has also been pressuring me. Not just pressuring me, but threatening me. He doesn't want my dad or the dog there, and he wants to secure his place in my home. He knows I don't want HIM there anymore, so he's been using all of this against ME.

My life is being controlled. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I wish I had someone to cry to. A hug doesn't sound bad either.

Is it possible to have a nervous breakdown and not realize it?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

F'd Up Situation

To make a long story short...

My dad is possibly being charged with downloading child porn from the internet. It's a long story, but he may have been set up. However, he may be guilty. Nobody knows anyone to the fullest extent. There are many skeletons in a person's closet. I really can't say if he's guilty or not.

He's been at my house since this happened (Saturday), until he decided he just wanted to stay away drunk. So, I've been at home, taking care of his dog, and basically waiting for the cops to knock on my door. This whole thing has had me so upset, I haven't been at work all week, until today. And now...I'm starting to get angry.

I want to believe my dad is innocent. If he's not innocent, I don't know how to feel. No matter what, he's still my father, but how do I look at this? What the hell am I supposed to do? If he's charged, how will people look at ME? How am I supposed to look at him?

I'm to the point of taking his dog to him, and saying "you're on your own".

I'm so screwed up right now...

You don't even know.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I've been busy. All I seem to do is work. After work, I will go to my second job until 9:00 tonight. A 13 hour day. Yeah yeah yeah, but that is a lot of hours for me in one day! I will also be working on Easter. Ten hours. Eww. I figured my coworker should have the day off to spend with her three year old. Being the nice/childless person that I am, I'm going to work for her.

Maybe I can sleep. And work.


Yeah, that sounds good!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Happy Friday

I should be happy it's Friday. For the most part, I am. It means I don't have to work HERE tomorrow and I get to sleep in. I am working my second job, but I don't have to be there until noon. I'm sure my eyes will pop wide open at 8 am.

Ass was off work today due to rain. He called and LIED to me. I called him on his lie. He lied about who he was with. Where he was and where he was going. Gambling. That is where he was going. He left the money he owed me at the house. I had my sister go get the money for me. Why, you ask? So when he gambles all of his money away, he can't take back the money he gave me, before I get off work to get it. Yeah, I'm smart like that. But not too smart, or I would of dropped his ass off at a shelter a long time ago. Did I mention he was drunk? Yeah, you already knew that.

He promised me. He promised he wouldn't gamble this weekend. He promised he would be sober so we could go out to eat after work. No, I didn't believe him. Sociopaths can't keep promises. I'm serious when I say that. He fits the profile. I did some research! I am not making this up, people!

I'm not going home after work. I'm getting my nails done, going to the tanning bed, and then meeting my coworker for dinner.

I may not go home tonight.