Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My name is Sassy and I'm a doormat...

When I got home Friday evening, he had busted my flatscreen tv. I called the police that night. They did exactly what I thought they would...

NOTHING.

They told me they couldn't legally make him leave. Since I let him stay there, he established residency. To them, he had done nothing wrong. Calling me bitch and cunt is "freedom of speech". Unless he physically hit me, there wasn't anything they could do. They even suggested I leave my own apartment for the night since HE had no place to go. I did leave...for a while. I came back when I knew he'd be passed out.

A bunch of crap happened on Saturday too, but I don't have the energy to get in to that right now.

It's a long story, but basically I have to file through the court to have him evicted. Even though his name is NOT on the lease, the apartment is considered his. Legally, unless the court says so, I can't keep him out. I could go through my landlord, but the dumbass isn't even supposed to be there. I know, bad on my part. I don't want to get myself evicted.

Basically, the police wouldn't do anything to help me. I'm tired of fighting. Of course ASS is playing the whole "I'll change" card again. I am taking him to AA tonight, but I'm not sure if he really wants help or if it's just a show so I won't have his ass evicted.

If he really wants help, I will help him get it. Even though he doesn't deserve anything from me.

Either way, I want him out.

7 comments:

alan said...

That "change thing" is always the trump card, though I can only guess at the millions to one odds of it happening! You'd be better off with a lottery ticket!

I watched my father-in-law do all these things to his wife and my sister's siblings...he drove his wife to attempt suicide and then blamed her and had her committed until my wife went to the doctors and judges and got her out. She was 16...she also left home then.

He never did change, finally dying at home 10 years later, still drinking, still being abusive and though he didn't have the strength left for it to be physical his mental abuse still scars his daughters. He spent his last few months trying to start his mornings with a drink and throwing up bits of his innards...

You don't need this...no one does!

Tell them he hit you...get this over with, get him gone, change the locks and get on with YOUR life! If you need a bruise, do what you need to...

I'm begging, please?

alan

Rain said...

It's not your fault. It's a survival skill we learned when we were kids. It worked for us then to keep quiet, cooperate, and generally lie low. It no longer serves us as adults, but change is difficult. About five years my father beat my mother and her face was bruised from forehead down to her cheek and her eye was swollen and bloody. I am ashamed to say that it never even occurred to me to call the police. This was only five years ago! I was a grown woman. So I guess that makes me a doormat too.
I recommend you follow through with the eviction process if you want to keep the apartment. Also call the police Each and Every time he threatens you. They will get tired of you calling and maybe decide to do something. I really think you are being too nice driving him around. You are giving him a mixed message. These type of guys are master manipulators. By breaking your TV he has shown great disrespect for you, and your home.

beckyboop said...

I'm with alan once again. Lie!

pearl said...

I agree, lie! I told you a few posts ago to lie...hit yourself or something, but lie! and tell your landlord he was just staying the night, that you never had any intention of letting him stay, but he wouldn't leave...and your scared....he has to have a lot more reason than that to evict you...just get his ass out sam! please??!!

Coyote Bebop said...

First, call a women's shelter (they are everywhere), and tell them the WHOLE story.
Second, call a lawyer, and RAKE the Indiana cops OVER THE COALS!!
because...
INDIANA LAW CLEARLY STATES:

IC 35-45-2-1
Intimidation
Sec. 1. (a) A person who communicates a threat to another person, with the intent:
(1) that the other person engage in conduct against the other person's will;
(2) that the other person be placed in fear of retaliation for a prior lawful act; or
(3) of causing:
(A) a dwelling, a building, or another structure; or
(B) a vehicle; to be evacuated;
commits intimidation, a Class A misdemeanor.

AND;

IC 35-45-2-2
Harassment; "obscene message" defined
Sec. 2. (a) A person who, with intent to harass, annoy, or alarm another person but with no intent of legitimate communication:
(1) makes a telephone call, whether or not a conversation ensues;
(2) communicates with a person by telegraph, mail, or other form of written communication;
(3) transmits an obscene message, or indecent or profane words, on a Citizens Radio Service channel; or
(4) uses a computer network (as defined in IC 35-43-2-3(a)) or other form of electronic communication to:
(A) communicate with a person; or
(B) transmit an obscene message or indecent or profane words to a person;
commits harassment, a Class B misdemeanor.
(b) A message is obscene if:
(1) the average person, applying contemporary community standards, finds that the dominant theme of the message, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest in sex;
(2) the message refers to sexual conduct in a patently offensive way; and
(3) the message, taken as a whole, lacks serious artistic, literary, political, or scientific value.

What the Police are doing to you is called "Discrimination". They are treating you like this, because they don't think that you, AS A WOMAN, are smart enough to do anything about it.

Call the women's shelter, ask them for a lawyer, and sue these pigs for BILLIONS.

.

alan said...

Thank you Coyote for being smarter than I and looking all of that up!

I owe you!

Please, Sassy...save yourself!

PLEASE?

alan

Coyote Bebop said...

Not smarter, alan, just more obsessive I think.
LOL
I work with our local police department (if you have the time, I highly recomend volunteering for the Po-Po), and I hate seeing lazy cops ignore a case like this. I understand why they do, because there are, literally HUNDREDS, but that is NO EXCUSE to just let Sam be pummled when they could easily just tell her what to do about it, even if all they tell her is the phone number to the women's shelter.
We are all responsible for one another.
When you choose to be a cop, you choose to be even MORE responsible about people, and these cops should just quit their jobs.

Love you too, Sam.

.