Rain asked if the guy was my ex husband.
No. Sadly, my ex treated me with more respect. He cheated, occasionally he blew up and hit me, but he never really talked to me the way this guy does.
I met the freak in a bar. Go figure. Back in August, I decided it was time for me to get out and meet someone. I was having a hard time, I was so tired of being alone. It gets old going home to nothing, nobody, day after day. I was tired of eating alone, sleeping alone, etc. Not much has changed, really. When I first met him, he was attractive and CHARMING. I found out that he was a liar, and well, his personality/attitude made him unattractive. Then I found out he had a major drinking problem. I thought I knew when to get out, matter of fact, I should have never let him in.
I figured with everything I'd been through in life, I could get rid of him when I needed to. It didn't happen that way. I kept making excuses. I still make excuses. I kept him around for the holidays because I didn't want to spend them alone. He made promises. Promises that he would cut down on drinking, that he'd treat me better, etc. I knew it wouldn't happen, but I let him stay because he has no place to go. I know it isn't my problem, but I just can't seem to make myself put him out in the cold. His own family won't take him because of his drinking problem. He's burned every bridge he's crossed. Except for mine. My bridge seems to be fire proof.
I seriously don't know why I haven't booted his ass out. I can take a lot. I know, that sounds silly, but lately, I'm numb. I've stopped caring. There isn't much positive in my life right now. I'm just going with the flow and pretending things aren't happening. Then I come here...
to let it all out.
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8 comments:
As long as he is there, nobody else can come into your life.
Open the door.
.
Coyote-right point exactly! Sassy there are homeless shelters for guys like him, besides haven't you ever noticed that his type always look out for themselves? That's why he latched on to you. If you kick him out he'll go back to the bar and look for another victim. He will take care of himself because that's what selfish pricks do best.
AMEN, Rain!!!!
That pesky reality. Always lurking in the background.
Time to be strong and
kick.
him.
out.
There are people in this world who "feed" on the misery they cause others. You seem to have found one!
Like Rain says, if it's not you it will be someone else before nightfall!
That his own family won't take him in because he's done this to them too many times should be a big hint!
Please, please, please, call someone before it's too late!
PLEASE!!!
alan
What they all said Sassy. I know it sucks to be lonely. I come home day after day to nothing as well. I held on to Joe so long so I wouldn't be lonely. I over looked his drinking and distance and his attitude until I just couldn't take it anymore. Please get him out of your life. Its better to be lonely alone, and be lonely, scared and miserable with a jackass like this one.
Drinking issues are always the worst. I know what that is!!!
This is a familiar journey to me.
Not so extreme, but it felt so at the time, and I remember that very second my mind crossed over and said, "I'd so much rather be alone then keep wasting my time with this shit."
I was getting dumped at the time. The guy I was dating just found out the girl he'd been pining over had become available, and I knew it was coming, was waiting on the excuse he'd give, wasn't really into him anyway, but sometimes we just find ourselves going through the motions like that. I didn't know who I was, so everybody else was filling in the blanks for me and I was just going along with it...numb like you.
Anyway, we were eating sandwiches, I hadn't put out, and this other girl was available, so he said, "You just make too many facial expressions," and that's when I had the click.
Decided I was done.
So, I was the friend without the boyfriend for quite awhile.
I needed that. I'd forgotten how to be me. Too many years of adjusting to everyone else around me.
It was tough on the holidays and birthdays, sure. You should see my journal from that time! But after awhile, I started noticing the sort of things others were putting up with in their relationships, and I resolved to do better or stay single.
SO, you know the rest of the story.
You're in the tough part now.
Get him out, then take some time off.
Those are my two cents, anyway.
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