Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Maybe Jay was right.

But maybe he doesn't understand. It's not easy to let go of my traumatizing childhood, it's not easy letting go of my hurtful marriage, it's not easy letting go of a lot of things.

I have come a long way. I went from hating myself, to liking myself.

Yeah, my posts are all the same. They are the same issues and feelings that I am dealing with, have been dealing with for a very long time. It's taking me a lifetime to get past, it seems.

If it was as easy to move forward as some people think, don't you think I would have done that by now?

It's not that I'm not trying. I am.

I just can't let myself get rid of the bad rubbish that enters my life. I want to. Believe me, I want to.

I'm not content this way.

Sometimes...

It's just easier to accept.

4 comments:

alan said...

It's taken me a very long time to "like myself" and there are still days when it would be easy to give up...

It's hard to quit reliving the old battles, the old losses, the old pains, even though no amount of doing so is going to change any of them.

Each day I tell myself to let them go; take the lessons learned and move on!

I see so many create the life they deserve by doing something about it. Every day I swear that's going to be me!

You have a chance to learn from my mistakes as well, and get ahead at a much younger age...

And you have that whole "gourgeous" thing working for you as well; inside and out!

One minute, one hour, one day at a time, my friend!

alan

Coyote Bebop said...

alan's right.

One step....then another...

I want to tell you something. I don't know if I have ever pointed this out to you or not;

Everybody is a fuck up.

Everybody is in the same boat.

You like me?
Admire me?
Wanna take advice from me?

You really should first face the fact:

I am a fuck up.

Someday, you will be better off, happier, loving-er, laughing all the time.
You'll get there faster, if you look at everyone that you admire, and realize;

They are a fuck up.

DIFFERENT fuck ups than YOUR fuck ups, but everyone is a fuck up.

"You have a chance to learn from my mistakes as well, and get ahead at a much younger age..."

alan is a good pal, and THAT is sound advice.

NOBODY is better than you, baby.

They've just fucked up DIFFERENTLY than you.
.

Mig said...

There is security in the pain of the past, that is for certain.

That you continue to make progress and, more importantly, you continue to try and that counts.

Don't give up on yourself. Keep at it.

And above everything else, value yourself.

The rest will come.

beckyboop said...

I'm fucked up!