Here it goes...
I (and some others because he refused to leave) threw his ass out of my apartment one night. I LET him sleep in my car. The next morning I felt sorry for him because he was cold and had no place to go. I let him come in.
He was only supposed to stay a few days until he could "find a place to go". It's been five.
He said he would stop drinking, he would go to AA, whatever I wanted him to do. He didn't want to be on the streets. That's what he said! I believed him. I thought he really meant it, I thought sleeping in the car opened an eye or two.
I was wrong.
He's been drunk for the past three days and wrecking my motherfuckin nerves! Last night he got pissed when I refused to take him to the liquor store. He started yelling at me and hit the dashboard of my car with his fist. To avoid the situation, I drove to the liquor store, where he purchased a pint of vodka and drank most of it. He kept me up half the night being a drunktard.
When he's drunk, I feel I have to walk on eggshells. I've even stopped smoking in my own apartment (which is ok, I needed to) because he doesn't smoke. He aggravates and scares my dog, I have to constantly tell him to leave my dog alone.
I feel like I can't be my own person around him. I've even found myself doing things, the way he wants it done, in my own home!
I have a code with my sister. If I text "H" it means he started his shit and I need her help. That is, if I can get to my phone. My neighbor also comes over and checks on me.
I want out of this. I want him out of my house. I don't know how to do it peacefully. I don't want to get anyone involved, and I don't want to have to call the police on him (he's on probation). But I know he isn't going out without a fight.
It's Friday, I should be happy the weekend is here...
the truth is, I don't even want to go home.
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7 comments:
Take him to the liquor store, the one that is FAR AWAY, and LEAVE HIM THERE.
He is not your problem. Be ready to call the police when he comes banging on your door.
Be strong!
Call the cops on him! You don't deserve this!
You've traded places with that one neighbor. I love you Hooker, and I know you keep saying I don't trust you to know when to get out, but I'm worried dammit..this is going to far! PLEASE get rid of him..You're life is not worth this bullshit! GET RID OF HIM!!!
Call the cops.
.
please call the cops!
I understand your fears, as I've spent a lot of my life being afraid of this, that or the other.
But the only one that's ever threatened my life is me!
He fooled you once; now he's back for the 2nd time. I'm not going to say the "shame on who" parts...
But please, do whatever it takes to get him out the door...drive off and leave him at the liquor store or whatever...
And make sure there isn't a 3rd round?
Please?
And the next time he shows up at your door, or you see him hanging around your car, call the cops. Don't talk to him, don't let him in! He's left you no choice!
This isn't your doing, it's his!
And in answer to your question, were it possible, yes, in a heartbeat!
alan
Oh this is like vicarious deja vu for me, yes, yes it is.
Didn't want to come home, didn't want to look at him or speak to him anymore, didn't want to hear those damnable races blaring from the tv, didn't want him to touch me or look at me, didn't want to come home...to my own house...because he was here.
Now the passive aggressive approach is to just let him leave when he gets damned good and ready...I tried that, he never was ready, no matter how miserable I tried to make him.
I told him to leave repeatedly, and his response was, "I'll leave when I want to, not when you tell me." The ef you say...I'll so mess you up if you stay...but then I realized I really didn't care enough to mess with him, or mess him up, I just wanted him gone, but I guess my body had to catch up with my brain, because it took me a long time to make that want a reality.
And the time finally came when it was right, it was poop or get off the pot so to speak, and I knew it.
You'll know it too when it's time, you'll get this cramp and you'll expulse that turd right out of your body, but my guess is you've already done that, now you just have to wait till you get your belly full enough to shove him out of your house and your life.
It'll happen, everything in it's time. Yeah we'd like to spare you, we'd like for you to get him out now, better yet we'd like to gather as a group and walk him right out of your house and your life for you, but I know that you'll do it when you really need to, when you have to, when your body catches up with your mind.
You are right where you are supposed to be right now in this moment in time, stop beating the shit out of yourself darlin' the drunk's doing that...Give yourself a break and remember you'll purge that puke at just the right time for you.
love you,
mom
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