I moved in with a friend so that life would be "more affordable". So far it hasn't been that way. I've lost my way to be me as well.

Every day I go to work. Every day I want to blend in with the office furniture. I work in the complaint department. Along with my disrespecting boss and realizing that if I had a penis, I'd be better off in the company. I dislike my job more and more.

I got pregnant (and lost the baby) by a man who says "let's take things slow..we are building..let things happen"...to.."I don't want to be in a serious relationship right now..I don't know what I want..I thought we were having fun...to everything is going to be alright". Did I mention he took me to meet his parents? AND he said that his mother told him I was a keeper? Why did he even tell me that?

I feel so...empty.

The sadness is different this time. I can't explain it, but I feel it. It's much deeper.

Nothing is what it seems. People always leave in the end. We are all in our own prison. We are all alone.

Hope is nothing...

but hope.