I talked to a professional/wise man about my father. He told me that I wouldn't believe the things people have on their computers. He also said that he believes if my dad was into "children", he would have had thousands of pictures and downloaded movies, not just a few. I agree with him, but I still can't help to wonder what the hell it was all about. If I ever have a child, I wouldn't leave it alone with my father. Only because all of this puts a red flag in the back of my mind.
My father is getting out of jail soon. They are giving him three years of probation, no access to internet, and he has to be a registered sex offender for a while. No prison time. I'm glad he isn't going to prison. However, I will be in my own prison. He has no place to go. He has to start all over again. I'm his only daughter. You see where this is going. I DO NOT want to deal with any of it! I shouldn't have to.
When it comes to my parents, I'm screaming inside. SCREAMING!
Good thing I have an appointment for a massage tomorrow. Oh shit, please don't tell me I have to get naked for this...
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10 comments:
Something in the air, pal. Just enjoy that massage. Give yourself a mental break. You need it.
I really don't know what to say in this case. I don't want you to get confused. You should do what Ange has already suggested you. OK?
WOW I have agree with both of them. I see where you comin from, matter fact I cant even say that cause I cant imagine myself in that situation. All im going to say is I hope you find peace and have alot of massages.
Thinking of you, sweetheart!
If they ever find a pitcher who can throw curveballs like life does, no one will ever get a hit again, will they!
alan
Tell him no. Simply. There has to be a halfway house somewhere in your city. Wait, you do what you are compelled to do hon, but let me tell you why it's okay for you to say no.
Our society provides the way for people to receive assistance. He can seek assistance, he'll have to chew on his pride but something tells me he's already had to do that.
HE has to start over on HIS OWN feet. Not your feet. Sometimes that's what it takes for people to grow up. That's what it took for me to grow up, then I retarded my growth with mind numbing substances and delayed it some, but that's another story.
My dad used to say, "I could help you today, but it wont help you tomorrow." We've sure as hell done it on our own, um, dad's can too.
Help, support and maybe drive him to get assistance, to get his own digs, or to a halfway house, or even a shelter.
When we do things that make us miserable, or allow other people to hang with us when they make us miserable, and I'm speaking to myself as much as I am to you, we kill our own spirits, and we accept poor treatment, and we begin to loathe going home.
I believe we have to have at least one place where we can be and feel safe, secure, relaxed; where we can be at home. We victimize ourselves; putting ourselves in front of the bullet when we let someone into our homes when deep inside at our core we don't want them there.
Life's short. We've got to live happy. We've got to find things in this life that make us smile again. I'm looking, and I know you are too.
I have a couple...live music, dancing, connecting to people who I love and value, like I'm doing right now...
Okay, you do whatever you need to do love bug. We'll support you, we'll listen, which ever way you choose to deal with the situation will be okay. But you do have options, and don't let anyone guilt you into thinking you don't. Know that it is okay for you not to take your father in, and if you do feel compelled to take him in, then that's okay too.
I love you,
mom
Man Sass, I've been pretty much out of pocket for about a year, I hate that you are still having a hard time. I totally agree with Fine, whatever you decide will be ok. Personally, I'd probably leave the state or something to get out of it, but, hey, I am a chicken!
I'm still hoping that one day you will find peace. That day may not be tomorrow, but don't give up. You haven't yet.
I always try to be an optimist, not always easy, but I feel if I think positive and act it, it sure beats the alternative. Life is too short to be miserable. So, I throw a smile on and ya know what? Most of the time that smile really feels good, especially when someone returns it.
I hope you see many smiles.
Be strong and you will make it!
Hugs, I know you need that too!
Pen
I think your dad, NEEDS to live someplace else.
I know that's not the reality but I wish it were for you.
Truly.
*hugs*
I hate that you have to go through this. Hell. I hate that pain exists. The first thing I said to my youngest daughter while holding her for the first time was, in a soft voice: "It's a mean world baby girl, but we do the best we can."
On a much lighter note: Naked massages! I'm in!
Hey.
I love the Morrison quote. I can't remember ever hearing at the moment.
Good on you.
You are his only daughter...yes..which means he is the parent..yes...which means he can take care of himself and get his own place!
The end.
I love you Hooker!
ps. the word verification was puissat.
just sayin
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