It's All Good

Every time I see him, we seem to get a little closer...

He said: Thank you

Me: For what?

He said: For being you.

I think that is the best compliment anyone can get. He reminds me of someone I used to know.

I never thought I'd find that level with another person again.

BUT...

maybe I have.

At least I hope so.

Building

I had that one person I could tell anything to. ANYTHING, without judgement. I could talk to that person and know that when the conversation was over, I'd feel better. Everyone needs that kind of someone in their life.

Last night I cried myself to sleep for various reasons. It's what we, as human beings (well, at least women) do. The more I cried, the more angry I became. I WANTED, NEEDED that "kind of someone" so badly to talk with. That "kind of someone" is no longer in my life. They left me. I feel abandoned.

Today I realized that maybe I depended too much on that person. Maybe they felt it too.

The new person in my life (maybe), we are taking things slow. We are "building" (his words). Building what exactly? A friendship, a relationship, a cult? It doesn't really matter as long as we are building something.

With the douche bags I've dated, to be honest, there was something safe about it. I knew that I could never fall in love with them. I may have been broken in other ways, but my heart was safe. And I stayed. Now, I've found someone I could probably "build" something with. I could fall in love with him. And I feel myself pulling away because I am nothing, but a big CHICKEN SHIT.

I'm afraid to give it a chance.

I'm afraid not to.

Update

I missed two days of work this week. I got worse with the UTI. My blood pressure went up for some reason. I was in the hospital. I'm back at work today. It's all good. AND...

I found out that he is "into" me.

It's a good thing, too. I DO have a voodoo doll with his name on it!

Mwahaha